Genesis 47.13-48.22

The Famine in Egypt Worsens / The Last Days of Jacob / Jacob Blesses Joseph’s Sons

The Famine in Egypt Worsens: Genesis 47.13-26

The famine is so bad that there is no food at all, except for what Joseph stored in Egypt. The people of Egypt and Canaan spend all their money on food. After this, Joseph exchanges food for livestock. That food lasts for a year of the famine. After that the people are broke and without livestock, so Joseph buys the land the people live on, making the residents of Egypt slaves to Pharaoh. The priests, who live on a fixed income from Pharaoh, kept their land, but the rest of Egypt is enslaved. In exchange for their enslavement, Joseph gives seed to the Egyptians, who must give one-fifth of the harvest to Pharaoh. “So Joseph made it a statute concerning the land of Egypt, and it stands to this day, that Pharaoh should have the fifth. The land of the priests alone did not become Pharaoh’s” (Gen. 47.26).

In this passage Joseph, who is the favorite of his father, the former favorite of Potiphar, the former favorite of the jailer, the current favorite of Pharaoh, is characterized as having even greater power. Now he does not simply exchange food for money, but cattle and land as well. He even enslaves all of Egypt! With control over the people’s food, Joseph is the strongest political figure in Egypt, at least as strong as and perhaps stronger than Pharaoh himself.

Of course, the Joseph’s power is predicated on a supportive Pharaoh who approves his actions. This sets up a bitter irony for the following chapter, Exodus, in which the political situation of the family of Israel is completely reversed.

The Last Days of Jacob: Genesis 47.27-31

“Thus Israel settled in the land of Egypt, in the region of Goshen; and they gained possessions in it, and were fruitful and multiplied exceedingly” (Gen. 47.27).

Jacob/Israel dies at the age of one hundred forty-seven, having spent seventeen years in Goshen.

But before that happens, Israel has Joseph make a patriarchal pledge to him. The method is similar to Abraham’s command to his servant in Genesis 24: Joseph is to put his hand under Israel’s thigh and swear to him, an act which conveys the power of the patriarch in both a figurative and literal (by proximity) sense. Israel’s request is that he is not buried in Egypt: “When I lie down with my ancestors, carry me out of Egypt and bury me in their burial place” (Gen. 47.29-30). Joseph swears it. Then Israel bows himself on the head of the bed.

Jacob Blesses Joseph’s Sons: Genesis 48.1-22

Hinted at in the last verse of Genesis 47, Israel is ill. Joseph is told this, and takes his two sons with him to Jacob. Jacob summons the strength to sit up in his death bed and tell Joseph of the blessing of progeny and land that he received from God at Luz: (In part) “I will make of you a company of peoples, and will give this land to your offspring after you for a perpetual holding” (Gen. 48.4).

Jacob then adopts Ephraim and Manasseh, Joseph’s sons, as his own. This way they might be tribes of Israel, like Reuben and Simeon. Their offspring, instead, will be Joseph’s. The reasoning for this is a bit strange. Jacob refers to the death of Rachel, so perhaps the children are adopted to compensate for the children that Jacob never had with her. If that is the case, Jacob could have taken Benjamin’s sons instead. After all, Rachel died delivering Benjamin. If that were the case, though, there would be a lot of children being blessed in this scene. And future verses listing Ephraim and Manasseh as members of Israel would not make much sense. Likely the adoption is related to Jacob’s favoritism towards Joseph.

Joseph feigns blindness, but has one last trick up his sleeve. He is a trickster even on the death bed. The scene plays well off of Jacob’s other deathbed blessing trick, in which he tricks his father Isaac, lying on his deathbed, into bestowing the blessing of the firstborn on him instead. Even dying and blind like his father, Jacob has a trick up his sleeve. After Jacob kisses and embraces Joseph’s sons, he (ironically?) tells Joseph, “I did not expect to see your face; and here God has let me see your children also” (Gen. 48.11).

Joseph then places (the younger) Ephraim at Israel’s left hand and (the firstborn) Manasseh at his right. The blessing should favor the firstborn, and therefore be given with the right hand. But Jacob pulls the old switcheroo, crossing his hands to that he places his right hand on Ephraim and his left on Manasseh. Jacob the blesses Joseph:

The God before whom my ancestors Abraham and Isaac walked,

the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day, 

the angel who has redeemed me from all harm, bless the boys;
and in them let my name be perpetuated, and the name of my ancestors Abraham and Isaac;

and let them grow into a multitude on the earth.

(Gen. 48.15-16)

Joseph is displeased by his father’s crisscrossed hands. He grabs Jacob’s right hand to put it on Manasseh’s, correcting him so that he may bless the first born. Jacob refuses, telling his son that Manasseh will have a great nation, but Ephraim will be greater. Jacob knows a bit about the second son being greater than the first; in fact, it is a very common theme in Genesis.

Israel tells Joseph that he is about to die, but that the blessing will be fulfilled. He then gives his favorite son one more portion than his brothers receive, “the portion that I took from the hand of the Amorites with my sword and with my bow” (Gen. 48.22).

Tomorrow: More blessings.

Genesis 24.1-25.18

The Marriage of Isaac and Rebekah / Abraham Marries Keturah / The Death of Abraham / Ishmael's Descendants

The Marriage of Isaac and Rebekah: Genesis 24.1-67

Chapter 24 is the longest chapter of Genesis

Abraham is old, and his "only" son still is not married. Abraham calls his servant and says, "Put your hand under my thigh and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but will go to my country and to my kindred and get a wife for my son Isaac" (Gen. 24.2-4).

Acts do not come more symbolic than that. The servant is asked to place his hand near the source of all Israel, to acknowledge the patriarch Abraham's power in swearing the oath.

An intermarriage is necessary. The wife is not to come from Canaan because the bloodline is to be pure. When the servant asks if he should bring Isaac to Abraham's land if she refuses to follow him to Canaan, Abraham is emphatic that Isaac should not return. Canaan is the promised land, so Isaac must remain there. If the woman does not follow the servant back, the servant is freed of the oath.

The servant loads up ten camels with gifts and heads out for Nahor. Toward evening he arrives at a well outside Nahor. Women are coming out to draw water. The servant prays to the Lord, asking, "Let the girl to whom I shall say, 'Please offer your jar that I may drink,' and who shall say, 'Drink, and I will water your camels' - let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master" (Gen. 24.14).

Even before he finishes speaking, he sees Rebekah, daughter of Bethuel (son of Milcah and Nahor, Abraham's brother). The beautiful (and virgin) girl carries a water jar on her shoulder.

It took years and years for God to get land and a son for Abraham, but for Isaac, a wife is found in seconds. Isaac is a rather passive character, who simply receives things, like his wife, as those around him struggle. His parents are tested for his sake, his sons fight even in the womb, but for Isaac himself things come easily.

The servant does the work of courting Rebekah - she follows his prayer perfectly.

The man - by verse 21 he is no longer referred to as a servant - gives Reebekah a gold nose ring (weighing a half shekel) and two bracelets (weighing ten gold shekels). He asks whose daughter she is and whether he might spend the night. She is the daughter of Bethuel - and of course they have plenty of straw and fodder for him to spend the night. The man blesses the Lord.

Rebekah runs back to the house to tell everyone what has happened. Impressed by the nose ring and bracelets, her brother Laban runs to meet the man and invites him in. Food is brought out, but the man will not eat until he tells his errand, which tells the entire story but modifies it in two important ways:

When the man asks Abraham what to do if the girl does not follow, Abraham responds, "The Lord, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you and make your way successful. You shall get a wife for my son from my kindred, from my father's house. Then you will be free from my oath, when you come to my kindred; even if they will not give her to you, you will be free from my oath" (Gen. 24.40-41). The man is still freed from the oath if the family refuses, but in emphasizing that the Lord sent an angel to make the way successful, the man seeks to influence the family. Furthermore, the man strategically has the family responsible for giving the girl away. Abraham's original message allowed for the girl's free choice.

Laban and Bethuel are quick to give away Rebekah. The servant - as he is again called in verse 52 - gives more treasures to Rebekah: jewelry and clothing. Laban and Milcah also receive costly ornaments. Bethuel only appears to give away host daughter. He neither receives gifts for takes part in the rest of the narrative. 

The servant eats and drinks , and spends the night. When he rises, Laban and Milcah ask that she might remain ten more days. The servant indicates his preference to leave immediately, to which Laban and Milcah reply that they will ask Rebekah. She agrees to leave immediately, taking along her maids. As she leaves, Laban and Milcah bless Rebekah: "May you, our sister, become thousands of myriads; may your offspring gain possession of the gates of their foes."

Isaac is walking in a field in the Negeb, mourning the death of his mother, when he sees camels coming. Rebekah slips from her camel, asks the servant who the man is, and veils herself when she hears who it is. The servant tells Isaac of his work.

Here is the second Freudian part of the story. Isaac takes Rebekah into Sarah's tent. He falls in love with her and marries her. In this way he is comforted after his mother's death. His sadness at the loss of his mother is replaced by the love of a new woman.

Speaking of new women...

Abraham Marries Keturah: Genesis 25.1-6

Abraham marries Keturah. Check out the genealogy below of Keturah's children.

Abraham gives all he has to Isaac. The sons of his concubines receive gifts too, but they are sent to the east, away from Isaac (again, Isaac is protected by others).

The Death of Abraham: Genesis 25.7-11

Abraham lives one hundred seventy-five years. In a remarkable show of itneraction/cooperation, Isaac and Ishmael bury him in the cave of Machpelah, where Sarah is buried. After Abraham dies God blesses Isaac, who settles at Beer-lahai-roi.

Ishmael's Descendants: Genesis 25.12-18

Abraham's death is followed by a list of survivors, not unlike modern obituaries. These are the sons of Ishmael. See above for the genealogy.

Ishmael lives one hundred thirty-seven years.

Genesis 20.1-23.20

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit / Isaac's Birth / Hagar and Ishmael in the Wilderness (Redux) / Covenant Between Abraham and Abimelech / The Near Sacrifice of Isaac / The Children of Nahor / Sarah's Death and Burial

"Let's do some E!"

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit: Genesis 20.1-18

Chapter 20 is the first continuous E-source narrative in the bible, and is another example of the "matriarch=sister trick" tale first found in Genesis 12.10-20.

Abraham again journeys toward the Negeb, this time settling between Kadesh and Shur. While living in Gerar, Abraham tells King Abimelech that Sarah is his sister. Naturally, King Abimelech sends for Sarah. God confronts Abimelech in a dream, telling him he is about to die for taking Sarah. Abimelech defends himself, asking, like Abraham, if God will destroy an innocent people. Says Abimelech, "Did [Abraham] not himself say to me, 'She is my sister'? And she herself said, 'He is my brother.' I did this in the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands" (Gen. 20.5). (Though Sarah does not speak in the narrative, it is possible she actually did claim Abraham as her brother.)

God reveals his bluff, and furthermore claims his control over the situation:

Yes, I know that you did this in the integrity of your heart; furthermore it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her. Now then, return the man's wife; for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you shall live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all that are yours.

(Gen. 20.6-7)

In the morning Abimelech calls his servants and Abraham together. He asks why Abraham would act as he did. Abraham answers:

I did it because I thought, There is no fear of God at all in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife. Besides, she is indeed my sister, the daughter of my father but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife. And when God caused me to wander from my father's house, I said to her, 'This is the kindness you must do me: at every place to which we come, say of me, He is my brother.

(Gen. 20.11-13).

As in his dealing with Pharaoh in Genesis 12, Abraham receives sheep and oxen as well as male and female slaves. He also receives Abimelech's land and a thousand pieces of silver.

For this Abraham prays to God, "and God healed Abimelech, and also healed his wife and female slaves so that they bore children. For the Lord had closed fast all the wombs of the house of Abimelech's because of Sarah, Abraham's wife.

Now, without getting crass, it appears that Abimelech was suffering a sexual problem, which. Hence God's earlier comment, "furthermore it was I who kept you from sinning against me." Quite tactfully put.

Ostensibly Sarah is beautiful and not old when King Abimelech takes her. This story does not fit chronologically in the narrative, then, and it is of note that Abraham and Sarah both are referred to names that they receive in the P narrative at ages ninety-nine and ninety, respectively. This might be an indication that in the E source, Abraham and Sarah always had these names. If that is the case, this alternative version of the story might have served as a parallel telling of roughly the same period of Abraham and Sarah's life.

Why insert it here? Possible the land that Abraham receives. It also plays with the idea of barrenness that pervades the Abraham narrative. Land and children are the two keys to the covenant.

Isaac's Birth: Genesis 21.1-7

Sarah conceives a son who is named Isaac. He is circumcised when he is eight days old, as commanded. There is more laughter. Sarah says, "God has brought laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me" (Gen. 21.6) This is fitting, as Isaac's name means "he laughs" and laughter typifies the Abrahamic narrative.

Hagar and Ishmael in the Wilderness (Redux): Genesis 21.8-21

Genesis 21.8-21 is another E-source retelling of the J story of Genesis 16. This version, like Genesis 20, has a strange chronology, as Hagar's son, whose name is not given, is seemingly about the same age as Isaac, not fourteen as he would be in the P-source.

Isaac grows and is weaned. Abraham makes a great feast the day Isaac is weaned.  Sarah sees Hagar's son playing with Isaac and becomes angry. She demands that Abraham casts Hagar and her son out, which distresses Abraham. God tells Abraham to go with it; Isaac is the line of offspring that will carry Abraham's name. God will however still make a nation of the other son's descendants, who still have Abraham's blood.

Abraham sends Hagar off with bread and a skin of water. When the water is gone, she hides her son under bushes, not wanting to see him die. God hears her son crying and the angel of God comes to Hagar. The angel tells Hagar not to worry, and that a great nation will come of her son. When God opens Hagar's eyes, she sees a well (a connection with the J story).

The boy grows up in the wilderness and becomes an expert with the bow. His mother finds a wife for him in Egypt, her home land.

Covenant Between Abraham and Abimelech: Genesis 21.22-34

More E narrative.

Abimelech recognizes that Abraham, an alien in his land, is protected by God. He asks for Abraham to be open with him.

Abraham complains about a well of water that Abimelech's men seized. Abimelech justifies himself, perhaps fearful of Abraham's God: "I do not know who has done this; you did not tell me, and I have not heard of it until today" (Gen. 21.26). Abraham and Abimelech deal with the problem by making a covenant. Abraham gives sheep and oxen to Abimelech, setting aside seven ewe lambs so that Abimelech will act as a witness that Abraham dug the well. The place is therefore called Beer-sheba (well of seven or well of the oath). The covenant sworn, Abimelech returns to the land of the Philistines. Abraham plants a tamarisk tree there and calls on the name of the Lord, El Olam. This is likely an epithet for the Canaanite high God El. Here Abraham applies it to his God, who has granted him this foreign land. Just as it is an old land with a new people living in it, the name El Olam is an old title with a new god it applies to.

The Near Sacrifice of Isaac: Genesis 22.1-19

My apologies if I just spoiled the ending. 

Still more E narrative!

God decides to test Abraham: "He said to him, 'Abraham!' And he said, 'Here I am'" (Gen. 22.1). God tells Abraham to takes his only son Isaac to Moriah, to sacrifice him as a burnt offering. Normally this is something reserved for animals; Hebrew religion does not condone human sacrifice.

Abraham sets out the next morning with a donkey, two men, Isaac, and the wood. On the third day Abraham leaves the two men and donkey, loads up his son Isaac with wood, and continues on carrying the knife and fire. What follows is a scene full of irony and drama. Like God, Isaac calls out to his father, "Father!" Abraham answers, "Here I am, my son" (Gen. 22.7). Isaac asks where the lamb is for the sacrifice. Abraham, knowing his son is to die, nevertheless correctly answers, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son" (Gen. 22.8). The two walk on.

They come to the place God has appointed and Abraham builds an altar and lays the wood. He bounds his son and places him on the wood. He is about to kill his son with the knife when the angel of the Lord calls for him to stop: "Abraham, Abraham!" He answers, "Here I am." The angel of the Lord says, "Do not lay you hand on the boy or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me" (Gen. 22.12).

Abraham sees a ram caught in a thicket and offers it instead. Abraham names the place, "'The Lord will provide'; as it is said to this day, 'On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided'" (Gen. 22.14).

There is a final promise of offspring. Abraham returns to the men and they return to Beer-sheba

Anyone know what mount this is? Anybody? Does the Temple Mount ring a bell? How about al-Haram ash-Sharif, the Noble Sanctuary?

Is this where God gathered the dust for Adam? Where Abraham bound Isaac?  The site of Muhammad's Night Journey? The site of the Third Temple?

This much is true: It was the sight of the two Temples of Jerusalem. It is the current location of the Western Wall, Dome of the Rock, and Al-Aqsa Mosque. Not familiar with these terms? Tread carefully. Biased information and outright fabrications about the site abound.

The Children of Nahor: Genesis 22.20-24

Today's genealogy in burgundy!

Sarah's Death and Burial: Genesis 23.1-20

Sarah dies at the age of 127 in Hebron, a foreign land. Mourning the death of his wife, Abraham asks the Hittites for property so that he might bury his wife. The answer that he may choose his place. But Abraham wishes to own the land, presumably so that nothing will happen to it. What follows is a fantastic scene of diplomacy. Abraham desires Ephron's property. Ephron, overhearing him, offers it for free, which is of course an empty gesture.The real reason he does not give a price is because he does not want a foreigner buried on his land. Abraham offers to pay full price, though not naming it, as he probably does not know what the full price is. Ephron slyly asks an exorbitant price: "My lord, listen to me; a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver - what is that between you and me? Bury your dead" (Gen. 23.15). Abraham immediately agrees to the price, seeing past the speech to the real meaning.

Sarah is buried facing Mamre/Hebron in a cave of the field of Machpeleah, in the land of Canaan

Tomorrow: Freudian tales from Genesis.

Genesis 17.1-19.38

The Sign of the Covenant / A Son Again Promised / Haggling for Lot / In Sodom / Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah / ...If He Was the Last Man on Earth

The Sign of the Covenant: Genesis 17.1-27

In this P-source account, God appears to Abram and expands upon the covenant first explicated in Genesis 15. Before the covenant consisted of a promise of land for Abram's descendants. Now God promises land and a multitude of ancestors:

You shall be the ancestor of a multitude of nations...I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come of you. I will establish my covenant between me and you, and your offspring after you throughout their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you. And I will give you, and to your offspring after you, the land where you are now an alien, all the land of Canaan, for a perpetual holding; and I will be their God.

(Gen. 17.4-8)

The sign of the covenant is circumcision for every male, free and slave. Anyone without the sign of the covenant is cut off from God's people. Because of the patriarchal/partilineal nature of ancient Israel, women do not need any mark to distinguish them as part of God's people. The circumcision of their father, husband, and sons is enough.

Naming serves a very important function in the Bible as a sign of change. Designated names commemorate events and locations and signal when a character has undergone a change. Hence with the covenant Abram's name is changed to Abraham and Sarai's name is changed to Sarah. Abram's name change shifts his designation from "exalted ancestor" to "ancestor of a multitude." As "ancestor" implies, the promise of offspring was always evident. Now the promise is of great nations. Sarah's name changes only in dialect, its meaning remaining something like "princess."

God first comes to Abram he falls on his face out of reverence. He repeats the action after hearing that his wife will have a child. And he laughs. Abraham is ninety-nine years old and his wife ninety. How are they to have children? Abraham says to God, "O that Ishmael might lie in your sight!" (Gen. 17.18). God answers that Sarah will bear Isaac (he laughs in Hebrew). The covenant shall be with him. Ishmael will not be part of the covenant, but will be the "father of twelve princes" (Gen. 17.20).

The chapter closes on a mass circumcision, with all the males of Abraham's house taking part. Father-son bonding: Abraham is ninety-nie at this time and his son Ishmael thirteen.

A Son Again Promised: Genesis 18.1-15

Genesis 18 is a J-source version of God's promise in Genesis 17. The Lord and two angels appear in the form of three men at Abraham's tent. In a grand demonstration of hospitality, Abraham runs out to meet them and bows down before them, ironically addressing them as "Lords" (Gen. 18.3). he promises them a little water and bread, then tells Sarah to make three cakes, runs to his herd and chooses a calf to be slaughtered, and brings out curds and milk for his guests. He stands with them as they eat, not taking part. Though Abraham has not introduced her, the three men ask where his wife Sarah is. Abraham points to the tent. One says "I will surely return to you in due season, and your wife Sarah shall have a son" (Gen. 18.10). Sarah, who is listening, laughs at this; she and Abraham are both very old. The Lord asks Abraham why she laughed, but it is Sarah responds in fear, "I did not laugh." Too bad the Lord is omniscient: "Oh yes, you did laugh." (Gen. 18.15).

Recap: Promises and Laughter

This section represents God's last promise of offspring before the actual birth of Isaac in Genesis 21. It has been a long process, with all the stagnation of Waiting for Godot. This play, Waiting for Isaac, has the two protagonists waiting for a son, the result of God's action, rather than God(ot) himself.

The themes of promise and laughter have featured prominently throughout this "play." Promises come in the form of land and offspring. Laughter sets up a motif befitting Isaac's name (he laughs)

The promises promised:

"I will make of you a great nation" (Gen. 12.2)

"To your offspring I will give this land" (Gen. 12.7)

"...for all the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever" (Gen. 13.15)

"I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth; so that if one can count the dust of the earth, your offspring also can be counted" (Gen. 13.16)

"Look toward haven and count the stars, if you are able to count them...So shall your descendants be" (Gen. 15.5)

"I am the Lord who brought you from Ur of the Chaldeans, to give you this land to possess" (Gen. 15.7)

"To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates (Gen. 15.18)

Abraham's name chance to mean "ancestor of a multitude" (Gen. 17.5)

"You shall be the ancestor of a multitude of nations" (Gen. 17.6)

"And I will give to you, and to your offspring after you, the land where you are now an alien, all the land of Canaan, for a perpetual holding; and I will be their God" (Gen. 17.8)

Sarah "shall give rise to nations; kings of people shall come from her" (Gen. 17.16)

"I will surely return to you in due season, and your wife Sarah shall have a son" (Gen. 18.10)

The promise of Ishmael:

[To Hagar] "I will so greatly multiply your offspring that they cannot be counted for multitude."

[To Abraham] "I will bless him and make him fruitful and exceedingly numerous; he shall be the father of twelve princes, and I will make him a great nation" (Gen. 17.20)

Laughter:

Abraham laughs hearing he will have a son in his old age (Gen. 17.17)

Isaac's name means he laughs (Gen. 17.19)

Sarah laughs (Gen. 18.12)

Lord asks Abraham of Sarah's laughter (Gen. 18.13)

Sarah denies laughter and God corrects her (Gen. 18.15)

Haggling for Lot: Genesis 18.16-33

The two men set out for Sodom, but the Lord stays with Abraham. There is a great outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah. Their sin is very grave. The Lord confides this in Abraham, who is probably thinking, "Uh-oh, that's where Lot lives!" So like any other Middle Eastern man, he haggles.

Abraham convinces the Lord to not destroy the city if there are fifty righteous within the city. The Lord agrees. Abraham cuts it to forty-five, then forty, then thirty, then twenty, then ten. Hopefully, Abraham must hope, there are at least some others besides Lot and his family that are righteous.

In Sodom: Genesis 19.1-11

Unlike Abraham, who is active in the service of his guests, his nephew Lot is passive, yet still the most righteous man in Sodom. Rather than Lot running to the men/angels, the two angels find Lot sitting in the gateway of Sodom. He invites them to his house, which at least shows some concern. He even strongly urges them from spending the night in the square. And though he makes a feast, the bread is unleavened, and he eats with them rather than waiting on him.

But he is the most hospitable man in Sodom. The other men of the town come and surround the house, telling Lot to show his guests that they may "know" him (yes, in the biblical sense). Lot is hospitable enough that he goes outside to the townspeople, shuts the door, and offers his virgin daughters instead.  The townsfolk get angry that Lot is trying to direct their actions, saying: "Now we will deal worse with you than with them" (Gen. 19.9). They move on Lot, try to break the door down. The me/angels inside bring him in, shut the door, and blind the men outside so that they cannot find the door.

Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah: Genesis 19.12-29

The angels come clean with their story - the city is to be destroyed. Is there anyone Lot wants to save? The future sons-in-law think Lot is jesting, and the night passes. In the morning, the men/angels force Lot out with his wife and two daughters. Lot is told to head for the hills, but just like his uncle, he bargains to run to a nearby city instead. The angels consent. Lot and his family are warned not to look back during the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, all sulfur and fire. Lot's wife turns around. She turns into a pillar of salt.

In a cinematic cut, Abraham goes out in the early morning and looks toward the Plain. Smoke rises up from the land like out of a furnace.

...If He Was the Last Man on Earth: Genesis 19.30-38

Lot serves as an interesting parallel to Noah in this tale.

Lot does not go to the town after all, deciding instead to settle in the hills. Because of this, his two daughters think they are the last family on earth. It is, in their minds, up to them to repopulate the earth. They get their father drunk on two consecutive nights, one for each daughter, and conceive Moab and Ben-ammi, the ancestors of the Moabites and Ammonites, respectively.

This part of the narrative serves to cast aspersion on the Moabites and Ammonites, both enemies of Israel. From a strictly patriarchal sense, it serves Lot right to have such terrible ancestors. After all, he offered his daughters to a bunch of gang rapers.

Up tomorrow: Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit